After we got the nod from Harvey Nichols I had to make sure that our labelling met the criteria contained in a million sub-clauses in the Encyclopaedia of European Union Food Labelling Law that I had recently received by post (highly recommended with a glass of warm milk if you have trouble dropping off at night). Hundreds of stupefying pages can be summarized in 7 words; don't claim anything that you can't prove.
Around this time our favourite smoothie company got busted by the Advertising Standards people for saying 'detox' and we developed a healthy fear of that happening to us; I have never been to court and i would like to start with something small like parking fines to get the experience before being whacked with something like that.
After applying what we had learnt the nearest thing to an admissible health claim that we could come up with was this:
Eating porridge could make you slimmer if you are a bit on the chunky side but wont do anything if you are just big-boned.